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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Changes and Sad dreams

Well, it has been a while since I've posted on my blog, over two years. A lot has happened in that time, I quit OpenWorks to go to work for Coventry almost 2 years ago. We have a second Chihuahua in the family, Günter. We bought him from a family that was selling puppies in the Walmart parking lot 2 years ago although we're pretty sure that he is a chiweenie and not purebred Chihuahua since he is 15 pounds and he was only $50 :-) .  Now my company is being bought by Aetna and that should happen in the next month or so and I'm anxiously awaiting that and hope I survive the merger.   Recently, we had to put Elwood down. Last Wednesday morning he woke me up at 4am, I could hear his breathing had slowed down and I could tell he was in distress. I woke up Thor and we rushed him to the emergency vet only to learn that a massive tumor on his spleen had burst and he was bleeding internally so there was no hope to save him. He was 12 and a half and had a great life with us, and we absolutely spoiled him rotten.

So last night I had the strangest dream, I'd dreamt that the vet clinic that put a Elwood down actually did not do that but only told me that they did. And in the dream they actually were adopting out senior dogs. Then later I waswalking through a park and saw Elwood lying on a park bench unable to move, but he was actually laying in the same position that he had been laying on the table at the vet clinic before they put him to sleep. I was so distraught seeing him there and upset that I then had to go through the entire experience again. Then the dream jumped to another place and Thor and I we're watching a movie in a theater, and in the movie there was a scene where we were watching Elwood at the vet clinic be put to sleep and then I woke up feeling very sad. Even now as I write this, I feel so sad like I'm experiencing everything all over again. It was all so strange.  I don't understand why this has been so difficult for me when only 3 years ago we went through the same thing with Mercedes, Jake, and Leo. All three passed away within 6 months and yet losing Elwood is so much more depressing than what I remember experiencing back then. I think because he was the last one from that original group of pets that Thor and I had during our first few years in Arizona. In fact, Mercedes was 16 years old when she passed away and had originally been with us in Iowa.

Other strange things have happened to us this year. Last summer, while walking across the street at work to get a Starbucks, I was hit by a Cadillac Escalade. I had the walk light and she was definitely at fault. Then one week after that, I learned that I had been diagnosed with melanoma. I had the surgery on September to remove the spot and have received news that everything is fine but I must be very careful from now on and avoid the Sun at all costs. What a great place to live with a skin disease that requires you to avoid the Sun!  But good things can come from bad news, I made the decision immediately after receiving the news about the melanoma to quit smoking. As of now, it has been eight months since I last had a cigarette. I am struggling with some weight gain but I do feel much healthier. Next on my to do list is to start a diet and drop some of the excess weight that I've gain as a result of the quitting smoking.

I did have some success with the HCG diet a couple of years ago yes immediately games everything back after I stop taking the HCG drops. So this time I'm just going to watch what I eat and try to be careful and do some exercise. Wait, I'm not that thrilled about the exercise part but definitely will do the diet. So I'll write more later when I have more to tell.